Really!?! Part Deux

Really, Oliver Perez!?! Really!?!

The Mets ask you to take a rehab assignment in Port St. Lucie to work and you refuse, really? I mean really, if I was robbing the front office blindly, I would at least do what they told me to do.

And really, it's not bad enough that we're paying you $36 million to essientially suck at your job, but now you're just sitting in the bullpen, waiting for an oppurtunity to come in and dig an even bigger hole. Really. Like on Saturday. When we were losing 5-0 and you let off three more runs. Like we really needed you to let those runs come in. But you really did let those runs come in...really!

And as a professional, do you really think that you sitting in the bullpen for each game is the best thing for you and for this team? And really, as a professional, wouldn't you really want to do the best thing for yourself and for this team? Really, in my opinion, you're really a waste of a roster spot, Oliver Perez.

I think it's really time you give somebody else a chance.

Really!?! Really!?!

My Crap-Tastic Team Is Back

Oh crappy Mets, how I've missed thee.

Jerry Manuel's go-to guy, Fernando Nieve, only lasted two innings, giving up five runs. And to think, we could have gotten the same two innings from Oliver Perez, but with less runs. Oh wait...we did.

I really don't understand what is about being on the road that makes this team suck. It's like the suckage oozes out of them. The west coast series against San Diego is going to be fun. For me, it's gonna go something like this:

10:05 PM: Oh look, the game's starting.

10:06 PM: Go to sleep.

(If they lose)

Whenever my dog gets me up in the middle of the night to go outside: Damnit!!!! They lost again!

Whenever I get up that morning: Watch Sportscenter to see highlights of how the Mets embarassed themselves.

(If they win)

Whenever my dog gets me up in the middle of the night to go outside: OMFG, they won.

Whenever I get up that morning: Watch Sportscenter to see who isn't on my shit list this week.

(If Jerry Manuel gets fired)

3:46 AM EST: Jerry gets fired.

5:45 AM EST: I get up to let my dog out.

6:30 AM EST: I get a Facebook notification that my best friend wrote on my wall. And Jerry got fired.

6:31 AM EST: Turn on ESPNEWS.

The rest of the morning is spent anxiously awaiting the news conference so I can count how many times Omar Minaya says the word "okay."

But, as always, LGM.

Why I Love this Team

The Mets can have you on the highest on highs, and then they quickly and suddenly bring you back down to Earth, in the most revolting of ways.

But, on the bright side, the quest to get the word "suckage" in the Mets lexicon continues.

And this game was major suckage.

The Improbable Has Happened

The Mets have swept the Phillies. But not only did the Mets sweep the Phillies, they shut them out...for 27 innings.

I am speechless. I am without speech.

The Mets take on the Brewers this weekend. Their lineup is slightly less scary.

Who are these Mets and where is my crappy team?

Well, the Mets certainly like to make me look foolish.

Darryl Strawberry comes into the Mets clubhouse, says pretty much what everybody is thinking, the Mets shut out the Phillies twice and the Mets are suddenly in a three way tie for third place.

Oh, and we're over the .500 barrier, which is always a good thing.

And Jerry Maunel gets to keep his job, depsite his overuse of Fernando Nieve.

I hope they keep it up, but at the same time, this is crushing my personal quest to get the word "suckage" into the lexicon of Mets fandom. Even though I'm sure it's there in 3 million other words, and yes, even gestures.

And what has happened to the Phillies? They're not so great without Jimmy Rollins, are they? They got shut out...by the Mets...by two guys who are just filling in. Burn.

This Could Get Ugly

Despite Amazin'ly taking two out of three from the Yankees, I have zero faith in this Mets team going into another all-important NL East battle with the Phillies.

Why? A team that has just beat their crosstown rivals and has homefield advantage should be able to beat a team as intimidating as Philadelphia.

We have no rotation beyond Mike Pelfrey and Johan Santana (yes, I did mention Pelfrey before Johan. Deal with it). John Maine has shoulder weakness, Jon Niese reaggravated his hamstring (but is on the road to recovery), and Oliver Perez just sucks. But we all knew that.

This series, we have R.A. Dickey, Hisanori Takahashi, and Big Pelf pitching.

Game One: Although successful in his Mets debut, Dickey is a knuckleballer and the Phillies just got shutdown by Tim Wakefield, another knuckleballer. Going up against Dickey is Jamie Moyer. Everybody on the Mets owns Moyer, except Angel Pagan. However, we have to get to him early. Advantage: Steak Shack

Game Two: The Phillies have Joe Blanton on the hill and the Mets have Takahashi. Joe Balnton is 2-0 with a 1.59 ERA. Jose Reyes is 0-9 against Blanton. Advantage: Philly.

Game Three: Mike Pelfrey vs. Cole Hamels. In Pelfrey's last start, the Phillies won 10-0 behind Roy Halladay. You know Pelf is going to try and redeem himself. He might be able to get to Hamels. Advantage: Pelfrey.

Prediction: Mets maybe win the last game. Jerry gets his pink slip.

Oh David, Where Art Thou?

My name is Jessica...and I am a Wrightoholic.

"Hi Jessica!"

As much as I adore him, David Wright is in this grotesque funk. As of today, he is hitting a .262, has an OBP of .382 and a SLG of .504. With is 8 home runs so far, he is definitely on track (hopefully) for at least 20 home runs. But his 55 strikeouts worry me. This leads not only the National League but all of Major League Baseball. Yup, you read that right. And before being given the night off last night, he had struck out in 15 straight games. If only there could be a "Beat the Streak" for that on mlb.com!

It seems to me that David whiffs away at these pitches because.....well, I really can't explain it. Either he feels he has to perform because the hitter we signed in the offseason to hit isn't hitting or he's overanalyzing everything, thus making him look like he should be on a golf course.

I've been a proud Wrightoholic since 2006, but quite frankly, David has put into as deep of a depression as the Mets themselves.

David returns to the lineup tonight, batting fifth. One can only hope that the day off yesterday helped him clear his head.

I Just Have One Word...

WHY?!?

Why is Oliver Perez still on this roster? Why are we paying him $36 million? He threw 88 pitches before being pulled out in the third inning, but not after allowing seven runs, nine hits, three walks, and four home runs.

Yup. Anybody else would have been in the minors right now. But the problem for the Mets is....we don't have anybody else!!! Nothing! No farm system! No free agent pitching! Why haven't we been getting pitching! This is what it is about our front office that makes me so mad; we get one guy and the problem is solved.

We're stuck with this bum. I wish it wasn't so. I betcha Pedro would come back for a million.

But in all honesty, I wish I was getting paid $36 million to suck at my job.

Really!?!

Really!?!

The Phillies get accused of stealing signs and Charlie Manuel throws the Mets under the bus, saying that a good home record can be an indicator of "things like that," really?

And really, if you're gonna throw a team under the bus, at least pick a team that isn't as inconsistent as the Mets. I mean, really, the Mets are so inconsistent that it surprises me when they win...really!

Don't you think the Mets bullpen is a little too far for the Mets to be stealing signs. Really? And isn't cheating supposed to help you...um...win? Really, Charlie Manuel, COME ON!

And if the Phillies were stealing signs, don't you think they'd have better technology than binoculars? Really!?! In this technological era, do you really think somebody is sitting out there with binoculars waiting for a sign that the pitcher is going to check the runner?

And really, Charlie Manuel, why say anything in the first place? The fact that you said anything at all really puts you under the microscope now. And really, when at least three teams have accusations stemming back from three years ago, do you really think that opening your mouth is the best idea?

Really!?! Really!?!